It’s difficult to be afraid of any monster that looks like a giant, wobbling mass of Jello. Even if it can swallow you whole, I always had issue with the Gelatinous Cube whenever it oozed its way into video games from its Pen & Paper roots. On paper, with your imagination fueling it, it’s certainly a monster worthy of some degree of terror. Swallowed whole, it’s easy to imagine your character slowly suffocate. In games though, that ‘slow suffocation’ would likely end after a brief debilitation and a little damage. All that potential fear is thrown out and you’re left with a wibbly-wobbly, mostly laughable bit of dungeon canon fodder.
I do like Gelatinous Cubes though. They are just weird enough to be cool, but not cool enough to be important. They are at least a step up from yet another horde of gnolls/goblins/skeletons. I don’t expect much more of them though, and that’s a shame. Why? This:
This TED wasn’t particularly uplifting. That’s why this post is about Gelatinous Cubes, not fixing world hunger or something else of global significance. Still, it was fascinating. I didn’t know anything about slime molds coming in. To learn that such a simple creature features some really smart abilities blew me away. The video gave me hope for Gelatinous Cubes to break their mold and do something far more intelligent with their time.
Gelatinous Cubes should always efficiently map their way around their environment, always finding the most efficient route to new Adventures it wants to use as its food source. If Adventurers aren’t around, they should then fall back on their hunger for really rare treasures, and efficiently track those down instead. They should also exhibit some form of learning as slime molds do. For instance, they could learn to dodge traps or avoid maces being swung at them.
If push comes to shove, I think we should consider even more intelligent Gelatinous Cubes. Imagine a herd of them ravaging the countryside, as they’ve evolved to be a hive mind or at least a social monster. Let them eat cows and farmers.
And then, after many years of destruction, we can domestic the bastards and turn them into better pets than slime molds in TED video ever could be. Imagine adventurers riding their Gelatinous Cube mounts gloriously into battle against … probably gnolls/goblins/skeletons. Damn.
But at least it’ll be cool to ride over those minions and feed Sir Limeheart. That’s what I am calling my Gelatinous Cube mount, that is; what about you?
#GelatinousCube #TED #DumbPosts